Friday, February 26, 2010

Ghostly

Living with a two-year-old is like living with a ghost.
Items throughout the house have been hidden, replaced, moved, etc. We live in a house of magic where things pop in and out of existence.
Anything from CDs to hairbrushes to a tiny orange shark to a harmonica can be lost forever or discovered inside your shoe weeks after you gave it to the kid so you could finish your phone conversation.
Living with a pet can be this way, too.
Many times I would come home from work and find a stray sock in the middle of the floor and Elvis staring at me as if he'd never even laid eyes on that partly-chewed sock. Sometimes, a shoe and its partner would be in separate rooms and again Elvis would deny any involvement.
However, with a two-year-old all bets are off.
Last week, I was wondering why my printer kept jamming only to open it and discover a CD tucked inside.
Another time Elmo's creepy, bulbous, white eyes stared back at me when I opened my dresser drawer.
Eric has been in the process of putting on his work boots in the morning only to stop part way and pull a harmonica out of his right boot.
Plastic bugs have terrified me time and time again. Once, I even found a dusty, praying mantis sitting patiently among the leaves of our dining room palm. How long had he been sitting there watching us eat?
These little ghost reminders, while do give me a bit of fright from time to time, always make me smile.
I remember having little secret places for tiny treasures.
I still have a few.
So when I'm putting away laundry and pull open Eric's drawer to find a tiny coral-colored ball and a bright red cell phone nestled among hills of white socks, I smile and leave it in its hiding spot because I know the little ghost will be back for his treasure.

Absorbant

So what's worse than finding a pull-up in your washing machine?

Finding TWO pull ups!

Apparently, when Jackson had been taking off his pjs and putting them in the hamper, the pull-up sometimes goes with the pants. And when I dumped the clothes in the laundry, it didn't occur to me to de-pull-up the pjs.

Now, the pull-ups are just a night-time precaution and are totally dry going in to the hamper. But by the time they go through the rinse cycle, there is a pull-up-explosion in there. I opened up the washing machine lid, and my heart sank to see pull-up guts all over the clothes. I thought I could just get through it when about a third of the way in... BOOM! Another pull-up!

Please tell me you have done this before, too?

*Putting the hassle of cleaning up this ridiculous mess aside, I think those things could be used for the next national flood emergency. Seriously.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Creative Writing Project

Jackson's story:

Once upon a time there was a little rabbit named Little Jackie-Bo. And one day he got a piece of chocolate! And he was so happy. And Jackie was soooo happy. The End


(I think he's trying to tell me something...)

Overheard This Morning

Daddy?

Yes?

You need to shave your tummy. There's a lot of hairs.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Internal Distress

Jackson woke from his nap this afternoon with a 102 degree fever.
No fun.
Some Motrin, water and a few cuddles later he started playing a little in his room.*
Trying to narrow down symptoms, I started asking him what hurts.
"Does your stomach hurt?
"Yes. It's mad at me."


*The Motrin has really seemed to help. With it, his fever is currently down.

Construction

Jackson's school is expanding. This means there are a lot of "workermen" running around with big tools testing fire alarms and jack hammering and whatnot. Jackson talks about them a lot since he is quite taken with tools and construction in general.

In fact, the other day when I picked him up from school we were walking down the hall and there was a ceiling tile missing from a project the guys are currently working on. Jackson casually looked up at the gaping space with wires hanging out. After we had passed it, he glanced back in its general direction and pointed up saying, "Remind me to fix that later."

But lately he hasn't been so thrilled with all the noise they been making.

"I don't like those workermen, mama."
"Why not?
"Because they put noises in my ears."

Friday, February 19, 2010

Just Jack

"Mama!" Jackson leans his head forward while his eyes are rolling toward the back of his head. A look of concern flashes on his face. "I can't see my hair!"


A helicopter passes overhead.
"Where is that helicopter going?" a teacher wonders aloud.
"It's going to Albuquerque," Jackson answers.


"Mama! Mama! Maaaaaamaaaaaa!"
"Yes?"
"Elvis is looking at me!"


"Miss Stephanie wants to ask you about how well your potty training went. What are going to tell her?"
"I tell her that I go potty and then I say, 'I'm reeeeeeadyyyy! Come wipe my booooottooooom!'"



"Mama, which one do you like best? The Sante Fe or the Murano?"
"Uh ... which one has more warranty?"



"Mama? When I grow up can I be a girl?"
"Uh ... Look! Ice cream!"

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Exit: Stage Left

After watching the Olympics, he became inspired and started ice skating. But then it turned to gymnastics. Never to early to start prepping for Summer Games. Anyway, some may say the show must go on but it seems that Jackson aspires to a more sneak-away-and-maybe no-one-will-notice approach.


video

My Funny Valentine

***warning: The following may not be for those of weak stomach. But hey, neither is marriage.***

10 reasons why I asked Eric to be my Valentine:

10. When the power went out a few weeks ago and we were in for a big storm he headed to the grocery store to stock up. I said, just get produce and anything else you think we might need to get through the strom. He came home with Fresca and a bag of bridge mix.

9.He has been sincerely trying to perfect his omelet-making skills. He is constantly refining his recipe and flipping technique. He loves bacon as much as I do.

8. He does voices. Sometimes for days at a time.

7. He makes me laugh every day. The best part is that he really seems to find it a goal of his. And I don't mean he makes me chuckle every now and then. I mean, it is a my-stomach-hurts-cause-I-can't-breathe-because-I-am-laughing-too-hard kind of laugh.

6. He has removed shards of glass, celery strings, silverware and tiny intricate pieces for sippy cups from the garbage disposal on a regular basis without complaining. He has stuck his hand in there when you couldn't even SEE the actual drain, let alone the garbage disposal due to the horrid water rising from the sink. Then he has gone under that retched sink to inspect the garbage disposal bucket thingy further. And ... he has done this more than once.

5. He sent me Valentine flowers to work three days prior. He always orders just the kind I love. He made dinner reservations for the holiday and agreed that at 9:30 p.m., after finishing our lovely dinner and wine, we needed to face that fact that we are old and headed home for an evening of I-try-to-sleep-while-he-tries-to-work-a-crossword-puzzle. This involves me nodding off while he pesters me for answers and then is shocked when I actually know an answer to one. He is also blown away every time he realizes that I know who Warren Zevon is or when I quote lines from the movie The Three Amigos. Once he high-fived me with tears in his eyes after I shouted, "I am still with you El Guapo!"

4. Not only does he set the mouse traps, but he stays calm when we hear it go off while I shriek through the house unable to determine if I am more freaked out that it might have worked or that it might not have. He also doesn't laugh when I look at the unsuccessful, empty trap and say "Maybe he won't come back now? Maybe he got the message?"

3. He disposes of the "successful" mouse traps.

2. He gets down on the floor and plays with Jackson. Really plays. He is Jackson's jungle gym. They are best friends. He gives him his bath, every night. He loves being a dad. Every time he leaves for work, he stops at the door, points a finger at Jack and says "Don't go changing on me!" and Jackson grins into dimples and returns the sentiment.

1. But probably the No. 1 reason I will always ask Eric to be my Valentine is ...

... drum roll ...

... get ready ...

... it's gross ...

... but ...

After Jackson threw up all over our kitchen floor forcing me to immediately exit the state of Oklahoma, he totally cleaned it all up.
All of it.
In minutes.
With 409.

In my book, you clean up the vomit? I will stand by your side for the rest of your life.

Sometimes love is simple.

Happy Valentine's day, baby.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

My Littlest Valentine

"Mama, you a nice, sweet lady."

Olympic Truths

"Jackson, look! It's Canada versus Germany speed skating. Who is going to win? Canada or Germany?"

He ponders the speed skaters for a moment and replies, "Mama."

The Reader

I overheard Jackson reading his new Bob The Builder book he got from my folks for Valentine's Day:

Morning! Are you ready for cookies? Canwebuildit?Canwebuildit?Canwebuildit?Canwebuildit?Canwebuildit?Canwebuildit?
Canwebuildit?Canwebuildit?Canwebuildit?Canwebuildit?
Rock and roll!

Flip Flop

Daddy! Don't take it off.

Ok.

Don't take it off, daddy.

I won't.

Don't take it off!

Ok, Jack.

Daddy? Can I take it off?

Thursday, February 11, 2010

List, etc.

A few more things to add from Eric's life list:

1.Take the family trout fishing
2.Play golf with Jackson
3.Find a place to hit golf balls within walking distance
4.Go to Greece
5.Sail the islands
6.Build an entertainment center
7.Flip a house
8.Learn Japanese
9.Finish the quilt
10.Finish a 5k in 21 minutes
11.Play rugby
12.Become an engineer
13.Teach for a living
14.Ski
15.Visits Dayton, Ohio to see Greg's cousins
16.Travel with Pop and Dearie
17.Write a book with Amanda
18.Shoot a spoof video
19.Do Quicken

Showtime - A Movie Review in Three Sentences or Less



Wikipedia's factual account had a somewhat different story to tell, but nonetheless we loved the touching, triumphant journey of this determined man and his adorable son.
Another movie that brings to the forefront our minds how close to the edge of desperation and homelessness one's life can be.
We both were disappointed that the movie didn't show a bit more of the happyness at the end of their lengthy struggle.

We give this movie three out of five bone density scanners.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Vocabulary

After supper was done and bath time was finished, I mentioned to Eric that we should start to use a bigger vocabulary around Jackson.
"What?" he said glancing my way. "You mean like Sacajawea?"

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Showtime - Movie Reviews in Three Sentences or Less

So, we had a lot of snow in the past few weeks, meaning lots of time indoors and evenings spent cuddling up with a good movie. Eric was in charge of picking up a few movies for the weekend before heading home and hunkering down for the storm.

What happens when you break from your NetFlix que and send the hubbs for a few flicks?

Here is what he picked out:




Christian Bale uses his scary "tell me about the bunnies and bears" Batman voice when speaking to robots that have been sent to infiltrate his bat cave.
Sam Worthington looks better in blue body paint while flying a fantastical-pterodactyl instead of a man eating airplane.
Arnold's fake cameo really doesn't make it worth it. (This is where Eric disagrees with me.)
We give this movie one out of five Arnolds.



It's Avatar the sequel: Pandora meets Earth... Kinda...
Bruce Willis goes robot-style with a ton of cover-up and sculptured hair while his hot robot wife hangs with junkies hooked on electricity.
The plot is so thin, that after Bruce jumps into various bodies searching for a way to save all mankind, you're really more interested in what kind of robot you'd pick out for yourself.

We gave this movie one out of five watts.




Sure, it's slow and rambly and takes some pointless, meandering plot twists but we are huge stand-up fans and laughed out loud at least five different times.
While I'm sure 75% of it was due to the accent, but who knew Eric Bana could be so hilarious?
My fave parts were the conversations of one-liners between Adam and Seth; too bad the movie couldn't have had more of that.
We gave this four out of five dick jokes.