Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Blue Eyes


Mama, you have blue eyes like me!
Yes, Eli. I do. You got your blue eyes from me.
No, I didn't. Don't touch them. They will sting you!
Right.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Zippers and Sidewalks


They say it's the girls that are prone to drama.
They say boys are easier because there is less drama.
Our household is full of drama. 
...

During a particular chilly morning, I made sure each boy put on their hoodie prior to heading out the door for school.
I kneeled to zip up Eli's red coat. As the zipper neared the top, his eyes widened.
"Mama!"
"Yes?"
"Don't choke my heart!"


The city is installing sidewalks in parts of our neighborhood. 
Every day, we would note the progress of the digging, the cement, the sod, etc. 
However, the sidewalks are not on our street. 
Car rides to and from soccer would consist of much pondering out loud between me and the boys about whether or not we would eventually get a sidewalk on our street.
"Mama?"
"Yes, Jackson?"
"Do you think we will get sidewalks?"
"I hope so."
"Me, too. Because then I could play on the sidewalks and not get squashed and then have a funeral and then have no soul."
"Whoa."

Loveys

Each night, Eli sleeps with a lovey. They provide comfort when tired or frustrated.
He has quite an assortment. This may be due to his mother fueling his collection with precious loveys she randomly finds when shopping.
Maybe.
Most of them are small squares of satin and have a tiny animal head topper: giraffe, cow, puppy, lamb and so forth.
They all have different names: elephant lovey, puppy lovey, brown lovey, big lovey, zebra lovey, lamb lovey (which for the longest time he pronounced "yam yuvey").
Only one does not have an animal on it. It is just a blue satin square.
The other night Eli was talking to cow lovey. I handed over the animal-less blue lovey as well.
"Here, Eli. You can talk to this one, too."
"No, mama. This one doesn't talk."

Monday, April 13, 2015

Draining

There are times my folks will have one of the boys (or both) late enough in the evening that bath time will be at their house.
During one such evening my mom had Eli in the bath and left him to play with an assortment of bath toys, one of which included a plastic colander.
At one point my mom checked in on him and noticed he had placed the colander strategically over his … ahem … parts.
"What are you doing with the colander, Eli?"
"I'm protecting my penis."
"Oh, I see."
"HELLO, PENIS!"

Monday, April 6, 2015

Easter Letters


Unfortunately, Eli was too sick to go to church yesterday and participate in the egg hunt. Jackson took part and was sure to collect a few eggs for his brother. 
But Eli regularly has the spirit all year round.
Once while my mother was driving him somewhere, she was startled when he suddenly and loudly testified from his car seat:
"GOD MADE THE WHOLE WORLD!"


Jackson had an ABC book that shows tiny pictures of all things starting with a particular letter. Eli now loves it as much as he did.
For the letter E, it shows a picture of Earth. I pointed to it and told Eli this was Earth to which he responded:
"Earth? That's where Jesus lives."
Later we get to the letter G. I point to the Globe.
"Globe? Oh, he lives there, too."


While rocking Eli to sleep, the glider always creaks and groans. We've used it daily since Jackson was born so it has a few complaints.
Eli asked me why it was squeaking.
"It's old. I guess Daddy should WD40 it again."
"No, mama it's WXYZ!"



Stern

Let's just say potty-training Eli has not gone as smoothly as one would hope.
The other day I was once again changing him and must have had a frustrated look on my face while doing so.
"Are you angry, mama?"
"No. I'm not angry, Eli. But I am giving you a stern look." 
"Why are you stern-ing me?"
Of course, my stern-ing melted to smiles after learning Eli's new verb. Hence potty-training fail.